Features

Single? Go here to weep on Valentine’s Day

The top five places to cry when you are all alone at MCC

Keith Whittemore
Mesa Legend

keithWe here at the Mesa Legend know better than anyone that not everyone has a date for Valentine’s Day.  Heck, I know the only “crush” I have right now is the crushing weight of being totally alone in the world.  That’s why my fellow editors and I took the time to put together this list of the top five places in the area to get comfortable, let your guard down, and have a good cry.

Katie Yslas has a good cry in the lonely rows of the library’s relationship section. Photos by Andrew Sandoval/Mesa Legend
Katie Yslas has a good cry in the lonely rows of the library’s relationship section.
Photos by Andrew Sandoval/Mesa Legend

Number 5: The Library> News flash, people: crying in the library isn’t only for finals week. Now, I know what you amateurs are going to say: “But Keith, how can I cry if I can’t make noise?” But everyone knows that the best place to cry in the library is on the third floor, away from prying eyes.  Whether it’s in a secluded area of the “relationships” section or the newly-christened (and soundproof!) Reflection Room, the library is a must for any serious crier. Pros: centrally located, good for groups Cons: no-noise policy, bad for dust allergies.

 

kieth crying at the boardwalk.
Kieth crying at the boardwalk.

Number 4: The boardwalk at Ray and Dobson> There’s nothing better for lightening the mood, dear readers, than a walk along the lake.  But if even the sunshine can’t break your blues, the boardwalk near Ray and Dobson can act as a prime spot for weeping.  The boardwalk is situated along a tranquil lake brimming with life and light — a perfect reminder of the cold dullness of your own existence. So grab a coffee from a nearby cafe, sit yourself down, and let it all out. Pros: outdoors, close to campus. Cons: significant foot traffic, ducks.

Number 3: Into your ice cream It’s so common, it’s become a cliche: the post-breakup ice cream binge.  But this classic cryspace has stuck around for good reason.  It’s quiet, it’s intimate, it’s portable — everything a hot mess like you could need.  Everything, of course, except lasting, meaningful companionship. Pros: stigma is almost gone. Cons: some refrigeration needed

Surrounded by thorns, Allison Cripe lets it all out in the a roseless
Surrounded by thorns, Allison Cripe lets it all out in the a roseless Rose Garden.

Number 2: The Rose Garden>  Newly renovated and open again for business, MCC’s Rose Garden has long been *the* spot for poignant reflection. What better place, then, to contemplate the fickle, transitory nature of human affection than in a garden full of thorned roses? Pros: easily accessible by public transit. Cons: Pricking your finger on thorn and it reminding you of your ex.

Number 1: The Mesa Legend newsroom> Yes, it may seem like we’re cheating, but, after weeks of diligent research, none of the other places we surveyed could even come close to matching the sheer existential despair of the Mesa Legend’s own newsroom.  Between the drab gray walls, mind-numbing fluorescent lighting, and suffocating Millennial angst that can only come from a roomful of reporters, the other contenders just couldn’t compete. Pros: Lots of company Cons: That company happens to be the jaded, overworked staff here at the Mesa Legend.  Happy Valentine’s Day from everyone here on staff.. And don’t worry: we’re all lonely too.

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These are archived stories from Mesa Legend editions before Fall 2018. See article for corresponding author.

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